Well folks, I don’t know if you can hear me over the deafening roar of vuvuzelas or see me through the flood of ticker tape and streamers here in the Lardwatch stadium in Calorie Town, as I raise the ‘Slimmer of the Week’ trophy high above my head. Kirkendalland has beaten Weightgain by three pounds, which is a right result in anyone’s book. My incredible bulk now clocks in at a mere 12 stones and I laugh at the ‘Mediocre Slimmer of the Week’ award I was holding the other week.
Actually (face reddens) it’s not all as good as it seems – my adventures in London the week before last meant that I gained two pounds, which is why there was no Lardwatch last week. So I have only really moved forward by a pound after losing those two gained in London. But, it does mean that the regular cycling I’m doing is having an effect, so hopefully, I’ll be into 11 stone territory next week – Hooray!!